I cast aside the woman the world wants me to be;
Self-conscious,
Afraid of my own body.
“Do you wear black to look slimmer?”
No, I just like black.
“Long hair does not suit your face at all, I can see why you cut off.”
No, I just like it short.
“Shame it’s not a bit longer though, don’t you think?”
No, I don’t think so. I like it the way it is.
If I had my way, I’d cut it down even more,
and I’d dye it whatever colour I wanted
Not just the suggested caramels and blondes because “It would look so much cuter if you softened it more.”
No, I want to be harsh, bold.
I’d pierce my face in the places people don’t want me to.
Nothing too much but enough to define my features to my own standards.
I want swirls of ink drawn into my skin,
dripping like hot tar.
Eyes, skulls, and all the nerdy or morbid things I am passionate about.
With little blossoms to balance it out.
“But what about when you get married?”
Then I will be one bad-ass bride.
No, I am not unhappy with myself,
I’m tired of people assuming that they know my style just by one thing I do.
I don’t do these things to prove a point.
I do it because I want to do it.
And it’s about time that the world knew that my body is my own canvas,
and I am not open to your constructive criticism when it comes to my appearance.
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This piece was inspired by a multitude of things that I have heard over the years as I adapt and change my style into what I want it to be. It was so inspired by this quote which we used in class for coming up with ideas:
“She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.”
― Kate Chopin, The Awakening
I’m not the kind of person to take other people’s criticisms when it boils down to appearance, if I’m happy with myself, then nothing else really matters. I believe in order to truly have confidence in yourself, you need to put yourself out there in order to get used to the feeling of people looking at you. That’s why I wear dark or bold makeup and dress how I want to.
